The Game of Cat and Mouse
by Monkiez
Summary: The stereotypical roles have been reversed with amusing results. What happens when the tables have turned and the slightly perverted Iruka, who at the same time is quite desperate for a lay, sets his sights on pursuing the nervous and shy Kakashi?KakaIru


Cat and Mouse Part 1

Pairing: KakaIru  
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto  
Warnings: Attempt at Humor and... OOC on Kakashi's part

Beta: Much love and hugs to Barbara aka kokiden for her awesome comments and feedback!

Yup. This is my first official fanfic. I posted it on the KakaIru community and decided to post it here too! I'm a little nervous, but I hope you guys enjoy it. It's an independent two shot that's a bit lengthy, but hopefully a fun read! So on with the fic!

Note:Before you all maim and kill me for Kakashi's behavior, let me explain my case.If you're a little put off/confused, put it in this perspective: You've just come across your long time crush and they've finally begun to notice you. How would you react?

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Iruka-sensei was looking irritable as ever while sitting impatiently at the mission office desk waiting for the next useless ninja to arrive and make some half-assed excuse about why their report was a piece of crap. He gave an impatient sigh, glancing at the clock every few seconds only to find that it sadly hadn't moved much since the last five seconds he had snuck-in a look. The chunin's body was slightly hunched over the desk, one elbow firmly placed on top with his left hand propping his head up and the other hand held a pen placed between his index finger and thumb moving up and down, tapping harshly against the oak. Of course the noise he was making in the, for the most part, quiet mission room had to be annoying, but who was crazy enough to go against THE Iruka-sensei?

THE Iruka –sensei was the 'sweet beloved' chunin that possessed a freakishly inhumane foul temper along with a sharp tongue that cut deeper than any kunai ever could. Many a man had walked out of the mission office a broken ninja once Iruka had gotten through with him. It was even rumored that some of them cried when they got home, more or less murmuring about how they were a great ninja and that they were special no matter what Iruka said!

And if you weren't getting the tongue-lashing of your life then Iruka was probably pulling a prank on you. Genma had the misfortune one day to cross Iruka after noting how motherly the teacher tended to act towards people. By the livid look on Iruka's face and his angry protests, everyone in a five mile radius knew that something bad was bound to happen. To no one's surprise, Genma returned the next day swollen and with a bad case of hives after Iruka found out he was allergic to cinnamon and force-fed it to the man. The poor jounin was bed-ridden for days.

Since then through the ancient art of observation and first-hand experience, nobody dared to go up against the teacher, much less underestimate him, no matter how low his rank was compared to the other ninjas.

Witnesses would later say that it was just one of those days that it was CRUCIAL not to set off Iruka, not only for their safety, but for everyone else's safety who would surely be caught in the cross-fire. It seemed like their favorite teacher was a ticking time bomb these days ready to explode and leave no survivors behind. The sinister emotion literally oozed from Iruka's body so that if you looked close enough and squinted really hard you could see the dark aura radiating around him.

But what had gotten the otherwise cheerful sensei in such a bitchy mood? Was it because of the wannabe ninja brats back at the academy giving him a hard time, or was it due to stress from working too much?

Ironically, it was neither of those. Iruka had actually been acting this way for weeks now and he hadn't realized it until one of his students unknowingly pointed it out during class that afternoon.

---

Earlier that day Iruka had assigned the seventh pop quiz to the class in the course of two hours. The children came to the infuriating conclusion that now Iruka was just making shit up because there was no way in hell knowing how to cook filet mignon while out on a mission with the resources you had in the area had anything to do with the ninja way. The kids groaned in despair which only added more words onto their ten thousand word essay about herbal plants used for medicinal purposes applied throughout the 19th century.

"This is horrible." Moegi whispered to the two boys sitting next to her. "Why is Iruka-sensei being so mean? He made us run laps all this week, have target practice with each other," The girl took a moment to shudder at that comment then continued, "And assigns us three essays to complete on a daily basis!"

"I'm scared to even come to school tomorrow because I'm behind on four of my papers! Iruka-sensei will kill me!" Udon whimpered to his friends, while already planning out his will to give his worldly possessions (his weapons, secret stash of candy, and action figures!) to his parents and two companions.

"Agreed." Konohamaru nodded in confirmation, "What crawled up Iruka-sensei's ass to get all pissy with us this week?"

"Maybe Iruka-sensei is angry because.. he's lonely and he's taking it out on us?! Maybe…maybe Iruka-sensei needs a girlfriend." Moegi said practically with stars in her eyes at the thought of Iruka dating some pretty woman.

"Or a boyfriend…" Udon snickered offhandedly only to have Moegi glare at him.

"Screw that. Iruka-sensei just needs to get laid." Konohamaru stated not so discretely which nearly caught the attention of every little nin in the room so Iruka-sensei, being a well-trained ninja, had to have heard it. Which, unfortunately for everyone, he did and the students withdrew back into their seats as much as physically possible.

"What did you say Konohamaru?" Iruka seethed and the kids could practically see flames spouting out of nowhere and looming behind their teacher.

Either Konohamaru was really brave, or a really big idiot, but he confidently stood up to repeat what he had said to his friends. Giving Moegi that look that says 'Tell my mother I love her!' he turned to face Iruka-sensei and repeated, "I said…you need to get laid."

Iruka stood there for a few minutes staring back at the boy, mulling over this information and coming to a conclusion. That actually explained a lot because Iruka was wondering why he had all this pent up frustration bursting out of him that he had to make others around him suffer. So ironically, the kid was right even if he meant it as a joke. Iruka hadn't had sex in ages. His last partner was currently in the asylum right now doing time for betraying the village. Starting a relationship with a convict would be too complicated and messy; Iruka's heard stories about it.

Well, now he just had to solve his problem and everything would go back to normal!

The schoolteacher blinked for a few seconds before coming back to reality and growling out, "Everyone get out now! Class dismissed! I want a ten thousand word essay on why it's considered unwise to talk behind another enemy ninja's back so loudly while on an undercover mission." Iruka glared at Konohamaru and was satisfied by how quickly he put the assignment in terms of the lesson.

The students just sat there dumbfounded, staring at their sensei then back at the clock then a couple more times back and forth between the two. It was too early to be dismissed. Was their sensei really losing it?

"Go NOW unless you want to practice throwing kunai at each other again!" Iruka smirked sadistically, chuckling over the fact that he had lied to the kids earlier when he said they had somehow misplaced all the targets used for practice and would have to use each other instead. Oh what a glorious day that had been. (Don't worry… the kunai were just made of plastic, it wasn't like anyone got hurt…Well! Not enough to send them to the hospital!)

In less than five seconds the room was cleared and Iruka was left by himself, leaning against his desk and once again mulling over the prospect of finally having sex with someone.

---

So that's where he was now. Sitting at the mission desk, glaring death at anyone who dared to approach him just so he could think things through, because if he was going to get screwed he might as well pick someone decent!

Yet, that was his problem. He had already gotten past the denial stage and accepted that he had a problem. Now he just had to execute his plan of "recovery" which was so hard to do. Why? Because he had to deal with two types of people on different extremes and neither would be any use to him. One side of the population thought he was way too temperamental and scary to approach and the other side had this zany idea that he was this symbolic figure of purity and if they were to touch him, they'd feel like a dirty old pervert.

Idiots.

Iruka sighed in annoyance, glancing around the room. So who was he left with? Let's see who he could snag…

He enviously watched how intimate Asuma and Kurenai were together and felt a quick pang in his chest. There was no way Asuma, nor Kurenai would go for something like that and Iruka wasn't into threesomes… not after that one night…. Iruka quickly blocked the thought out of his mind and continued to stare at them. Besides, who was he to break up such a lovely couple? To find love in a village filled with ninja who died on a daily basis was something very special and sacred. Iruka wasn't the type to break a bond such as that and definitely didn't want to be labeled as a home wrecker.

Who else? Iruka scanned to the next person, which was Anko, and he quickly looked away before he could make eye contact with the girl. Anko had this awful habit of implying things that weren't true and if she caught Iruka staring at her then she'd definitely think he was interested. Not that Iruka had any problem with the girl it was just that she was into some weird freaky shit, that Iruka didn't even want to know about much less partake in.

The sensei's eyes then travelled to Gai. That was a laugh. Though Iruka could sort of imagine that the man was good in bed, it just seemed like he had TOO much stamina (if the whole running around the entire village a hundred times before dawn was anything to go by). Iruka would surely break before the sun came up. And then if Gai wasn't good in the sack, Iruka was sure he'd make some wild declaration like carrying weights around the village clasped onto his penis until his 'Youthful Vigor' could reach Iruka's standards.

Iruka snorted and mused a bit on that idea, wondering if Gai was actually that crazy. Nah…

Anyway, back to hunting. Kotetsu or Izumo? Nope...it was the same kind of situation with Kurenai and Asuma.

Genma? Hell no! Iruka knew the man was known to sleep around and there was no way Iruka was going to risk catching something. However, usually Genma just talked about having sex with people and that's all it was: just talk. Iruka had yet to meet a person besides Raidou that confirmed sleeping with Genma. Either that meant Genma was bad in bed, people were ashamed to admit sleeping with him, or he was lying, or all three. Either way, Iruka wasn't going to find out.

This search was hopeless, the distraught school teacher wanted to cry out. Everyone in the mission room was either taken by someone else, creepy, or uninteresting. But did he have a right to be picky? He was desperate right now and somebody was better than nobody at all!

Iruka swore that the next person who walked through that door he was going to take the initiative to court and then screw!

Just then Ibiki entered.

…Shit. Okay. Let's try that again!

Iruka swore that the next person who walked through that door and walked over to his desk to turn in a report was going to be the next candidate that he was going to court then screw! Well, now all he had to do was just look cordial. People so far had been avoiding him like the plague and he wasn't going to land anyone with the frustrated expression on his face. So he relaxed, took a deep breath, and sat calmly with a small expectant smile, just waiting for his next victim. He was actually quite nervous, though, on who would be the lucky person. Hopefully they were decent looking.

A few minutes rolled passed until Iruka tensed a bit, sensing someone was coming towards him. It was…oh god. It was Ebisu, Konohamaru's tutor, who was probably going to reprimand him on his behavior towards his pupil, or something to that effect. Great… didn't Naruto mention him being a closet pervert? The guy just seemed weird, but Iruka couldn't complain! He hadn't set any standards on this mission so it was one of those luck of the draw, any thing goes type of situation. How he wished he had made some kind of rules of exclusion though. With a pained smile on his face he waited for the inevitable.

Yet, fate would play a hand in the events that occurred next. Ebisu was fuming and ready to bite Iruka's head off when suddenly in a puff a smoke, a person appeared in front of Iruka before Ebisu could actually claim a place in his line. Iruka stared with his mouth open at his beautiful savior. Light pooled around the man (of course from the lighting of the room, but Iruka swears it was a sign from God!) before him as Iruka's gaze trailed upwards, blatantly checking the man out (Iruka had also quickly determined with absolute glee that the man had a nice package). His eyes stopped promptly at the pale face where a black mask was covering the bottom half and a headband was placed jauntily to the side to cover the left eye. Tufts of silver hair hung loose over the band while the rest seemed to defy gravity. Dark brown eyes clashed with ebony and Iruka just knew this man was the one. The one he had prophesied about!

Iruka could NOT stop staring, which made the man before him fidget a little, wondering if he had done something wrong.

"I-I'm sorry, Iruka-sensei. Is there something on my face?" Kakashi subconsciously raised his hand to feel his mask. Iruka watched the tips of Kakashi's ears turn red from embarrassment. How cute!

'Yeah, it's that damn mask that's in the way!' Iruka thought morosely before answering sweetly with an award-winning smile (which threw everyone else in the mission room off guard.), "No, no..everything is fine. You just caught me when I was zoning out. I apologize for staring, Kakashi-sensei. Do you have your report for me?"

Kakashi stared at the smiling face before him before nodding and shyly producing his paper, still wondering if he had done something wrong. The report, as usual, was a complete mess. It was crumpled, wet, filled with stains, and… were those doodles? Kakashi had the time to doodle on his papers, but he didn't have enough time to write a decent report?

That bastard!

Iruka could feel his anger rising as he looked up at the sheepish man before him. No, he had to think about his mission! If he blew up at the infamous Copy Ninja then his plan would be in vain, and Iruka would have to have angry sex with Ebisu, since he was the next one in line!

Kakashi could see that the shit was about to hit the fan and at that moment tried to come up with a logical explanation. "Iruka-sensei, I apologize. You see what had happened was…" His lie was cut short as the chunin raised a hand to silence him.

"I don't want to hear your excuse, Kakashi-sensei." He stated in a serious tone, "All of this chicken-scratch will definitely hurt my eyes later when reading through it, and it'll make it even tougher to audit." Iruka watched as Kakashi's stance seemed to deflate a bit, and the schoolteacher was actually amazed that the guilt trip method was working. He continued to sigh and grumble about what a pain the report was going to be, which only seemed to deflate the Copy Ninja's stance even more. The visible black eye grew darker with concern.

Now for the final punch.

"But I suppose to make up for your inability to write legibly you could… take me out to dinner. Just as an apology for the amount of work you'll cause me."

The genius ninja looked taken aback, as did everyone else in the mission room. They were all watching in anticipation for Iruka to blow up on the careless ninja, and some even took cover as a precaution, while others were trying to escape out the window. They had expected at least a chair to be thrown, but actually asking for an apology date? Had Iruka gone completely mad!?

Iruka watched as Kakashi's face turned from complete shock to completely red from embarrassment, and Iruka, being the awesome ninja that he was, fought with every fiber in his being not to squeal like a fan girl at how adorable Kakashi was acting. It was just too much! The man acted like he had never gone on a date before!

It took a few seconds to register before the Copy Ninja's face returned back to its normal color and Kakashi nodded his head fervently at the request. "Yes. Of course Iruka-sensei! I'll wait for you after your duties are over."

"I'm done at seven!" Iruka chirped pleased that the other man fell for it.

Oh, what a lucky day this was for Kakashi! He was spared from a brutal tongue lashing from Iruka. All he had to do was go on a date with the man… Wait, a date? Kakashi wasn't too great at those. In fact, he'd never been on a real date before in his life…he was going to bomb it for sure! But he couldn't let Iruka know that, or else he'd get yelled at or even worse be a victim of one of Iruka's cruel diabolical pranks. He needed help, and fast!

"So yeah…I've...I've got to go... mow my lawn." Kakashi blurted out before teleporting himself out of the room. Kakashi didn't have a lawn, but hell Iruka didn't need to know that!

But sadly Iruka did know because most of the living spaces around the area were either town-houses or apartment complexes so people didn't really have lawns. Besides, what ninja had time to cut a lawn anyway? Iruka smiled wistfully while thinking about how cute Kakashi was for making up such an obvious excuse to hide his embarrassment. Tonight was going to be so much fun.

Yes, today was starting to look up and nothing anybody could say, even Ebisu scolding him at that current moment, could deter Iruka's mood. A dreamy sigh escaped him at the prospect of having sex with THE Kakashi Hatake tonight. If everything went according to plan he might actually keep the man around, depending on how good he was in bed.

"I'm going to rock your world Kakashi!! Just you wait!" Iruka thought, and the wicked smile on his face was all the persuasion the remaining people in the office needed as they hurriedly exited the room. Such a grin couldn't be good for anybody, and the lovable sensei's behavior had been quite frightening that day. He snorted as he realized he was the only one left in the room and shook his head at how immature everyone was being. Iruka didn't care about them because that didn't matter to him right now. The only thing on his mind was...

Making Kakashi Hatake his by the end of the night!

---

Okay…. So those were his intentions, but…

Courting Kakashi wasn't as easy as Iruka had thought. It wasn't because Iruka was inept in the art of pursuit, but rather because Kakashi was just so damn shy around him. So the one night stand he had planned for their first date went straight out the window as the night progressed.

Furthermore, their first date hadn't been one of the best first dates Iruka had had. It started out nice, since Kakashi, after an hour of making Iruka wait, gave him a batch of flowers as an apology. It was enough to quell Iruka's anger for the time being. They then decided to go to a local café since it was close by and casual.

After that things just turned from bad to worse.

The conversation was quite awkward for the two of them. Iruka did most of the talking at first until he had run out of things to say. It really sucked being a part of a one-sided conversation, but Kakashi looked interested nonetheless. After ten minutes of sitting in silence, Kakashi finally decided to say something which caught Iruka off guard.

He swore he witnessed Kakashi taking a peek every so often at his own wrist as if he were reading off lines. Lines which Iruka was pretty sure came from Icha Icha, or Gai… and since Iruka was dealing with Kakashi, then the flowery over-dramatic speech probably came from both.

This was more or less how it went:

"Oh my beloved Iruka, the radiance of the moon is of no comparison to your exotic beauty. In fact it seems to have enhanced your attractiveness this clear, starless night."

Iruka looked around briefly then answered, "Where is this moonlight coming from? We're in a restaurant right now. Besides, there's overcast tonight."

Kakashi tried another tactic. "Well, I've noticed that the lighting in the room has made your brilliant blue eyes sparkle in the most dazzling way!"

"…My eyes are brown." The teacher bemused.

"Uh…My Innocent Iruka, Beloved Sensei of Konoha, Take Heed Of My Sincere Words That Express My Affection! Tonight Let Our Youthfulness Be Known To The World, For We Never Know When We'll Have Another Moment As Sweet As This. No Other Passion Burns Deeper Than Ours!"

Iruka tilted his head to the side and smiled softly. "Are you declaring that we should initiate public sex?"

Kakashi flushed at the comment and shook his head 'no'. "You misunderstood me.. I uhh…" He couldn't come up with anything coherent and Iruka just stared at him while the jounin fumbled around for an answer.

Finally, Kakashi stopped talking all together and seemed to sulk in humiliation. Iruka tried his hardest not to laugh which would undoubtedly discourage the man so he opted for a smile accompanied with a sincere, "Thank you for the compliments though. They were sweet."

Kakashi seemed to brighten up a bit after that and offered to pour some sake for Iruka. Unfortunately, being the nervous wreck that he was, Kakashi's shaky hands proved to be unstable and he accidentally spilled the bottle on Iruka's lap.

The schoolteacher cursed and lunged forward to move his seat back at the same time that Kakashi did, which resulted in both of their heads colliding hard against each other. Iruka howled in pain and fell backwards, losing his balance and falling out of his chair. Kakashi only stared in horror as he tried so desperately hard to catch Iruka, but sadly there was a table between the two. The moment Kakashi dived forward the table went right along with him, collapsing on top of the poor Academy teacher with contents and all.

Iruka stared at the ceiling counting backwards from one hundred so he wouldn't lose his temper and call the whole thing off. At this point having angry sex with Ebisu sounded better than dealing with this hopeless ninja. When the table and food were moved off of him and Iruka finally got up off the ground, he stared coldly at the worried man on the other side. For the remainder of the time spent in the restaurant, Iruka refused to talk while Kakashi continuously apologized for the mishap.

When they left the café, Iruka hadn't bothered to invite Kakashi back to his home, but the man decided to tag along anyway. The two walked in uncomfortable silence the entire time until Iruka reached his door, though Kakashi at least had enough sense to hang back. He had worked up a speech that would hurt Kakashi to the core, but upon turning around Iruka was met with sincere apologetic eyes filled with sorrow. How could Iruka lash out at the jounin when he looked like a kicked puppy? Damnit.

"I-I-Iruka-sensei, I'm so sorry about tonight. I really wanted it to be an enjoyable experience for the both of us, but I screwed up big time." Kakashi stated sullenly, eyes casted downwards at his feet. "You see I like…" The man tensed up and he quickly backtracked, "I mean… I understand if you never want to go on a date with me again. This was the first time I've ever been on one; I'm definitely out of practice. But if you could just give me another chance, Iruka-sensei, I'll definitely get better. I promise. Please just give me another shot."

Iruka was a little freaked out that the infamous Copy Ninja was begging him, but he found himself agreeing to the jounin's request. The Academy teacher figured it was Kakashi's first time so there was obviously going to be some mistakes made. Honestly, the man's lack of experience came as a bit of surprise since Iruka thought Kakashi would have at least fooled around once in his life. Apparently that wasn't true either.

The silver-haired man visible eye curved into a smile and he let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you for giving me another opportunity." Then Kakashi actually made a little bow at him, and Iruka couldn't help but be amused. Was he always this formal?

"Ah. I'll be going then." Kakashi stood up straight and nodded and was about to walk off when Iruka halted him by latching on to his wrist.

"Wait, Kakashi!" Iruka said then smirked a little. "This is still a date, somewhat disastrous, but a date nevertheless. Don't you want your goodnight kiss?" The chunin watched Kakashi's expression change from confusion to surprise and the jounin timidly nodded his head.

After looking around for a good minute, the Copy Ninja finally pulled down his mask and stared nervously at the schoolteacher. Iruka gasped and had absolutely no shame while gawking at how handsome Kakashi looked. The man's face was an evenly pale tone and instead of embarrassing blemishes, like Iruka assumed, his skin was completely clear except for the scar. High cheek bones, a strong chin, perfectly shaped lips, and a chiseled nose; Kakashi was absolutely gorgeous!

"Iruka-sensei…are we going to kiss?" Now Iruka could see the blush spreading throughout those pale cheeks and the chunin once again had to fight everything in his being not to turn into mush.

"Um…yes! Yes! Kissing…of course." Iruka nodded as a blush of his own spread across his cheeks at being caught staring.

Once again awkwardness took its toll as both Kakashi and Iruka tried to figure out how to approach each other's lips. From a bystander's point of view it would've been comical to watch Iruka and Kakashi's clumsy behavior as one head moved up the other moved down or if one of them moved back the other moved forward. Each time they either missed, or it just wasn't a great kissable position. It went on for about a good minute until Iruka had clearly gotten impatient, placed both hands on Kakashi's cheeks, pulled him down and crushed their lips together. Surprisingly the kiss hadn't been that bad though. Kakashi was hesitant at first, but Iruka coaxed him into following his lead which the other shyly obliged. To Iruka's amazement, Kakashi was a fast learner because by the time the kiss had ended it was Kakashi that had finally taken the dominant role which left Iruka breathless.The two stood there panting while looking at each other until it slowly registered through Kakashi's mind what had happened which resulted in more blushing. He quickly pulled up his mask and stuttered out his goodbyes before teleporting out of there.

That left Iruka leaning quietly against his apartment door in wistful delight at the events that had transpired that night. So maybe Kakashi wasn't a lost cause. "He just needs to be worked on a little bit more, that's all," Iruka thought to himself while entering his apartment. Thankfully Iruka had enough patience to go through with all of this because there would be no way in hell he'd put up with anyone else's behavior. Kakashi was just too cute; that's why he couldn't stay mad at the man.

As a result, it was already set in his mind that night that Iruka was going to have to do some breaking through.

A MAJOR break through.

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Feedback much appreciated. :)


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